Facebook this, Facebook that. Update Your Status

Posted: January 25, 2012 by nullpointerexceptional in Uncategorized
Tags: ,

Facebook has transformed the internet. A novel idea, allowing first students then the rest of the world, keep in touch with classmates and friends that they have accumulated over the years. No more waiting until class reunions to find out that the b—- you hated in high school got pregnant and is already divorced. No more “playing the field” with 3 or 4 girlfriends since they’d all want the über status of ‘In a Relationship with…’ Or the best yet, those friends that decide to share their lives in 30 second increments including any gastrointestinal issues that may be facing that day. Let’s not down play either the creep factor 10 skill of stalking every attractive girl in your class. Well that was a weird progression wasn’t it?

Here we have a perfectly good social service that continually ‘innovates’ information presentation that I could care less about. That’s really it, right? Facebook’s concept has been the same since it was founded: a presentation layer that is cleaner than MySpace with a little exclusivity (originally just college students). Well, Facebook has lost that exclusivity by opening the flood gates to the rest of the world – hey it was in their best interest to do so. I really question the innovation that things like Timeline bring to the Facebook community as a whole – each phase of these so called innovation has been met by mass protests in the community – then again, no one likes change – and only lessened the privacy that people actually experience.

I’m a bit of a privacy nut and from that perspective Timeline removes a lot of that from me. I liked it when stalkers actually had to work at piecing together information rather than having it all presented in a single place. Oh I can adjust my own privacy settings you say? Go on your account and look at your friends – how many of them are really just people you met once at some party? I’m going to bet your real friends can be counted on your hands and toes – yes even if you have a thousand friends. If you’re really into sharing things like pictures of your drunk ass at a party with complete strangers you probably have some form of social disorder, nay a serious problem.

Tinfoil hat time. Let’s take a step back from Facebook for a moment and look at the malicious potential which can be achieved. Let’s say you meet CJ through a friend of a friend and immediately add each other on Facebook. Time passes and you forget who the guy was or really where you even met him (2 years down the road say) and in that time CJ has become a crack head and needs his next fix.Where does he turn? Facebook. In those two years you’ve been checking into places, sharing photos, commenting on peoples walls – all things that CJ can use to figure out when you’re not around and break into your house while you’re checked into the Sonic down the street, stealing everything valuable. “Oh no, that couldn’t happen to me”. Hate to burst your bubble but it happens already – people using Facebook to build a social profile on someone and then later using it for malicious intent. “OMG I’m going to Cancun for 3 weeks” is a pure gold mine for someone that knows where you live. “Be home in five minutes from the club” here come the serial killers and rapists.

The amount of information that you put on the web about yourself is scary. You know those security questions you have on your bank or email accounts? Think about how many of those questions could be answered by a friend or better yet someone with a lot of time on their hands. Great examples of those types of thefts are Paris Hilton and Sarah Palin – information which was freely available on social media sites (and some books on them) were used to gain access to their emails and phones.

Look, Facebook has had enough scary ‘innovations’ in the past (facial recognition), the last thing anyone needs is some crazy person just needing to go to one spot to get all your information (cough Timeline). If you’re really that addicted to Facebook, post after you get back from somewhere – or better yet don’t post at all: no one actually cares about you and if they do they are probably sitting next to you when you post it. Oh and if you’re one of those people that post pictures of shoes or rap lyrics all the time go to hell.

(As a side note, I deleted my Facebook when Timeline was announced and highly encourage you to do the same).

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Comments
  1. pleonasty says:

    I deleted my facebook back before it became self-aware.

  2. alephnaughty says:

    I think Facebook is just grand, y’all.

  3. I have a repeat offender friend who always posts pictures of her shoes or feet in front of things and posts awkward rap lyrics. I’ve been toying around with hiding her but she gives me some maddening comedic relief.

  4. nullpointerexceptional says:

    I had a bunch of shoe people for a while there. You filter them out from the newsfeed. The part that I don’t get is how they don’t realize they are being annoying…

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